I drew this for you...

these are things I drew for you and your crushed dreams. I hope they brighten your day!


I drew you this cake because its your friggin birthday guy!  I also drew it because: a) I needed to one up Dan-o. b) you deserve it. c)I am hoping that you will like it so I can get HUGE TUMBLARITY and get a book deal. p.s. If you type in “tumblarity” you get a spelling error.  Oh wait—I DID mean “bipolarity”

I drew you this cake because its your friggin birthday guy!  I also drew it because: a) I needed to one up Dan-o. b) you deserve it. c)I am hoping that you will like it so I can get HUGE TUMBLARITY and get a book deal.

p.s. If you type in “tumblarity” you get a spelling error.  Oh wait—I DID mean “bipolarity”



I drew this sticky note for you to remind you to draw a stupid effing picture on your stupid effing blog.  It has been like a zillion days since you last drew ANY stupid pictures.  I don’t care if you have a different job.  I don’t care if you don’t think you have ‘time’ to do it.  It takes you three minutes to draw these lame-ass pictures.  So maybe instead of watching live Hall & Oates performances while you eat your cereal in the morning you could draw an 800 x 600 canvas of self-respect.

I drew this sticky note for you to remind you to draw a stupid effing picture on your stupid effing blog.  It has been like a zillion days since you last drew ANY stupid pictures.  I don’t care if you have a different job.  I don’t care if you don’t think you have ‘time’ to do it.  It takes you three minutes to draw these lame-ass pictures.  So maybe instead of watching live Hall & Oates performances while you eat your cereal in the morning you could draw an 800 x 600 canvas of self-respect.



I drew this apple for you as an alternative in case you get a chance to go back and do it again.  I have made a lists of pros/cons for you to think about next time around: Pros Organic Support small farmers You won’t get yelled at Maintain your innocence Mankind will live forever Cons Less appealing due to the lack of taboo High price tag No known possibility acquiring any knowledge through consumption Walking/talking serpents

I drew this apple for you as an alternative in case you get a chance to go back and do it again.  I have made a lists of pros/cons for you to think about next time around:

Pros

  • Organic
  • Support small farmers
  • You won’t get yelled at
  • Maintain your innocence
  • Mankind will live forever

Cons

  • Less appealing due to the lack of taboo
  • High price tag
  • No known possibility acquiring any knowledge through consumption
  • Walking/talking serpents


I drew this for you. It’s a picture of my kitty Tom so you remember he’s the orange one when you come visit. You probably shouldn’t pet him. I put the blood on his paws and teeth so you remember why. He’s my favorite kitty.

I drew this for you. It’s a picture of my kitty Tom so you remember he’s the orange one when you come visit. You probably shouldn’t pet him. I put the blood on his paws and teeth so you remember why. He’s my favorite kitty.



I drew this for you, the greatest independent rock and roll band of all time, because I can’t think of a better way to show my appreciation for reuniting.  I know that a valentine in September isn’t really “appropriate”…but that is beside the point. x0x0

I drew this for you, the greatest independent rock and roll band of all time, because I can’t think of a better way to show my appreciation for reuniting.  I know that a valentine in September isn’t really “appropriate”…but that is beside the point.

x0x0

I drew this grocery bag for you so that the next time your dog decides to squat’n’drop a twosie on my sidewalk you will be able to dispose of it in a proper fashion.  This way I won’t have to worry about taking a blind turn around my fence in the morning. I know what you are thinking— “YUCK WHO WANTS TO PICK UP FRESH POOPIES NOT ME!!!”. That is why I also made you this Doggie-dookie-grocery-bag-pick-up guide… Turn bag inside out (this provides a clean release later on) Place hand inside of the bag with your fingers at the base With hand still in bag, reach down and grab the culprit.  If the idea of picking up mushy feces is too much for you to handle, just pretend its chocolate mashed potatoes! While holding the fresh lump of joy, use your other hand to turn the bag right-side-out once again. Tie off the bag and drop it in the nearest receptacle (There is one within a block) Godspeed!

I drew this grocery bag for you so that the next time your dog decides to squat’n’drop a twosie on my sidewalk you will be able to dispose of it in a proper fashion.  This way I won’t have to worry about taking a blind turn around my fence in the morning. I know what you are thinking— “YUCK WHO WANTS TO PICK UP FRESH POOPIES NOT ME!!!”. That is why I also made you this Doggie-dookie-grocery-bag-pick-up guide…

  1. Turn bag inside out (this provides a clean release later on)
  2. Place hand inside of the bag with your fingers at the base
  3. With hand still in bag, reach down and grab the culprit.  If the idea of picking up mushy feces is too much for you to handle, just pretend its chocolate mashed potatoes!
  4. While holding the fresh lump of joy, use your other hand to turn the bag right-side-out once again.
  5. Tie off the bag and drop it in the nearest receptacle (There is one within a block)

Godspeed!



I drew this rhino riding a surf board for you because you are my only fan and I thought that I could do a good job at it.  I made the surf board red because I thought that it might be your favorite color since I like it a bunch.  He is riding a killer wave for you!  HANG TEN!

I drew this rhino riding a surf board for you because you are my only fan and I thought that I could do a good job at it.  I made the surf board red because I thought that it might be your favorite color since I like it a bunch.  He is riding a killer wave for you!  HANG TEN!



I drew this “#1 rapper” mug for you because its gotta be tiring telling everyone that you are the best rapper alive all the time.  Maybe you could just carry it around so people just know.  Also you could put Cristal in it and drink it in your rap videos.

I drew this “#1 rapper” mug for you because its gotta be tiring telling everyone that you are the best rapper alive all the time.  Maybe you could just carry it around so people just know.  Also you could put Cristal in it and drink it in your rap videos.



I drew this bag of money for you to pay for your injuries acquired while protesting health care reform.  I heard you were taking donations to pay for your costs since you do not have health care.  Hospitals are expensive!

I drew this bag of money for you to pay for your injuries acquired while protesting health care reform.  I heard you were taking donations to pay for your costs since you do not have health care.  Hospitals are expensive!



I drew this for you because skeletons are easy to draw and I like you

I drew this for you because skeletons are easy to draw and I like you